The Wild and Maddening Concept of Christian Dating

I was never on the Christian dating scene. Quite frankly, I don’t know if I could have handled it. There was an odd trend for me, however, nearly every guy I got involved with had some Catholic background. It drove me nuts.

“A woman must have her heart buried in Christ so that for a man to know her heart, he too, must know Christ.”

That’s all good and well. But it isn’t the only blueprint for leading a Christian relationship. When I met my boyfriend, I didn’t know Jesus. I was not Christian. But it was through him that I was led back to Catholicism. The first year of our relationship, I begrudgingly went to mass every week. Then, I secretly started liking it. Then I started researching and reading more on it. And now, I have a Catholic blog. Isn’t life funny?

Someone asked me yesterday if I thought God had one true soulmate for everyone. I honestly don’t have an answer. But I do think that God summons people to many, many different callings. I ran across this line in some reading, “All women are called to motherhood, but not all women are called to marriage.” In other words, being a mother doesn’t have to mean marrying and birthing a child. It can mean being a mother figure to someone who needs it. Nurturing, leading, and fostering another life, or lives, where you are called. I like that. And I see it fit to be true in my life.

I can only imagine what it’s like banging your head against a wall, praying to God every day for your soul mate to drop by conveniently in your life. I think every young girl, Christian or not, is waiting for some man to come along and prove all the other ones wrong. And knowing God, strengthening your relationship with Him certainly helps, but if that is the only reason you are praying to him, you might be missing the bigger picture.

As women, we should be burying our hearts in Christ because it is what we are called to do. Not because it will lead us to prince charming. Our relationship with God doesn’t have to be perfect and satisfied for the right man to come along, but it does have to be ready. Because even when we do meet “Mr. Right”, our relationship with God is still growing. To be honest, Christianity is a never ending journey (literally). Meeting a soulmate doesn’t cap it off.

I dealt with being single in my own way, as I’m sure you all have stumbled and coped for yourself. It aint easy. But I shudder at the thought of young girls telling themselves they haven’t met their knight in shining armor because their relationship with Jesus isn’t “perfect” yet. As long as we walk this earth it will never be perfect!

On another note, don’t limit yourself to only Christian men. Perhaps you are called to be with someone of differing beliefs. I know it sounds crazy, but maybe Mr. Right is not the nice Catholic boy who sits in the pew in front of you every Sunday. God knows I was not the nice Catholic girl when my boyfriend met me. I remember even telling him early on, “If you’re looking for Miss Proper Catholic girl, I’m not it. I drink, I swear, I don’t read the bible. I’m soiled. You don’t want me.” It worked out, sure, because now he jokes I’m even more Catholic than him – but that may not be the case for you. Some people are called to be with someone of differing beliefs until the day they die.

I think it boils down to trusting that things are the way they are supposed to be. Even as the atheist, angry and bitter person I was before becoming Catholic, I refused to play the game of regret. I knew it was only a dangerous path to go down, and would lead to pain and confusion. Even if things aren’t “the way they’re supposed to be”, how maddening can it be to draw out the what ifs? How unhelpful??

So in conclusion, women who are single, relax. I’m not going to tell you Mr. Right is around the corner. I’m not going to tell you “God’s pruning the perfect man, he’s just not ready yet for you.” I’m going to tell you that you are beautiful and God has called you to do something so personal and intimate, that only you and Him can know it. I encourage you to figure that out, not for Mr. Right, but for yourself. 99% of soulmate finding is timing, and God is the only one in control of that.

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2 responses to “The Wild and Maddening Concept of Christian Dating

  1. Pingback: Let’s Talk About Sex | Life's Rich Pageant·

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