Gay Marriage and Boston College’s Brutal Condom Policy

OMG. GAY MARRIAGE.

Ok, actually no. I really don’t want to talk about gay marriage. Quite frankly, I’m sick of hearing about it and can’t wait until it’s legalized so we can move along.

Besides, I feel myself more called to the women’s movement anyways. (Whatever that means. For now, Let’s call it the “Showing women how awesome and beautiful their bodies and souls are. And, yea, fertility’s pretty cool too.” movement.)

I read about a story in the Boston Globe about how Boston College is savagely withholding condoms from their students. The vicious University Policy (as a private, Catholic institution) is that birth control will not be distributed on its campus by the university.

Everybody freak out.

Higher education students at a private university (meaning, most likely well educated, not impoverished, intelligent people) will have unprotected sex everywhere and have abortions, and unwanted babies, and STDs and the world as we know it will fall apart. Not to mention, these “most likely educated, not impoverished, intelligent people” will have no other way of finding rubber if the university doesn’t provide ample amounts for each student. CVS? What does that even mean? What’s that? No extra cash? Have you ever googled “free condoms”? They’re everywhere. You can take responsibility for yourself outside of the BC campus. Call it the “real world”.

The article talked about a group of students in a health advocate group that hand out condoms to students. (Which, as long as they aren’t a “sanctioned group” of the University, it’s fine.) But of course the article painted them as the heros fighting against the brutality of the strict University’s rules.

Sexual Health Advocate groups on campus aim to inform students on how to have healthy sex. Here’s a few tenets:
-WEAR A CONDOM
-Verbal consent from both parties is a good thing. It goes something like this, “Do you want to have sex with me?” “Yes. Yes I do.” or “No thank you.” (Which to clarify, the latter means there is not consent.)
-If you have unprotected sex, freak out and go get Plan B.
-But the bottom line, WEAR A CONDOM.

Maybe I am privileged, and I recognize this, but these seem like very basic, integral things that shouldn’t require rallies and parades. But here’s what really gets my goat. You know what’s not basic and integral? Or at least it isn’t in our society? Our fertility.

So yea, we know all these things about “sexual health”, but not once have I seen a sexual health advocate group talk about fertility. I’ve never heard once, a rally for understanding our bodies and at least, grasping the concept of what’s going on down there. For me, understanding the hormonal and cyclical pattern of the female reproductive system is such an important piece of the greater puzzle. Shouldn’t “Here’s what your fertile window looks like. And yes, that stuff on your underwear at the end of the day means something.” come before “Wear a condom”?
Arguably, fertility is part of the reason for our sex drive. (Obviously, not the only one, but certainly a driving force.) Fertility and sex are like, inseparable for me. And again, it’s not that every act renders a new life, but that the power of the potential to create a life is present.

I would argue, sex has three sides: physical (including fertility and pleasure), emotional, and spiritual. But all I ever hear about on a college campus is the physical pleasure side. Which to me, doesn’t look like a full picture and leads women to feel inadequate when they want more than just the physical pleasure. It’s like we’re not supposed to want more. What I usually hear is “orgasms are good for you, they make you live longer, they boost serotonin, they make your hair and nails shinier.” But nobody talks about how it can break your heart.

I wish these “Sexual Health Advocate Groups” gave a more complete picture. Sex is so much more than condoms and consent. (I mean, consent is pretty important, but you get my gist.)

I’m not saying that anyone is “less than” for not knowing their fertility and I also recognize (either naturally or medically) many women no longer have their fertility. (And that doesn’t make you any less of a woman! Duh.) I just wish there was as much of an emphasis on body awareness as there is on the hallowed message of “WEAR A CONDOM.”

End Rant. Sorry guys, hope that wasn’t too bad.

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2 responses to “Gay Marriage and Boston College’s Brutal Condom Policy

  1. Great post! Just came across your blog….I feel the same way. Cannot believe I was almost 30 years old before I actually knew how my body worked. My husband and I practice NFP and it has been wonderful and very easy for us. We conceived lwhen it was right for us and my knowledge of NFP also assisted in getting pregnant easily as well.

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