1st Phase Reflections: Why I am Not Mother Theresa

First Phase Reflections

So April at my feminine mind announced that she would host this link up about a month ago and I was super stoked to jump on board. But as the month progressed, here I am realizing I don’t really know how to do a link up. Here’s my confessional – I’ve been blogging for about a year now and have never done a link up. SO I apologize if I’m not “up to linking par”.

The idea behind it was that women would have a place to talk about the goings on in their emotional state during phase 1. A phase that is often shunned from society, not really socially acceptable to talk about and well, quite frankly many people just don’t want to hear about it. And if you’re one of those people, click right on, my friends, and there will be no offense taken. I’m actually surprising myself by doing it because it’s a pretty ballsy move – or rather ovary strong move. I mean, hey, let’s talk about my emotions while I was on my period, guys! Feminism for the win!

So alas, here I am. And here’s some musings from my most recent phase 1:

I’ve read before about Mother Theresa feeling so overwhelmed by all the wickedness and tragedy she witnessed while in the streets of Calcutta. Understandably. She lived amongst the extremely impoverished and fought for human rights and dignity.

While I’m nowhere near a saint, and no where near to restoring rights and dignity to humanity, I like to pretend that “Yes! I am making a difference and my voice will be heard.” I think we all have that little voice in us that wants to CHANGE the world.

I started to feel hopeless and discouraged. Sort of all “What’s the point of even trying for Grace when I’m doomed to fail because I’m a freakin’ human?” I felt like nobody was listening and I may as well save my extreme enthusiasm about what I want to change in the world for football season or something. Same difference right?

Then that week at mass, the reading was Luke 9:51-62, where James and John were being a bit – uh – enthusiastic about their faith. My priest said “Yes, we are called to be enthusiastic. But that enthusiasm should be as concentrated as a laser beam.” In other words, I will not singlehandedly cure world hunger, female suppression, and the sexual dystopia we live in.

These things were starting to feel too heavy, anyways.

And even better? That’s okay. I’m not called to do that, because my calling is so concentrated on what I can do in my small world, it should be like a laser beam. I hope that one day, I help one person discover empowerment and identity that I have discovered – but I might not. And that’s okay too.

If Mother Theresa felt like she couldn’t save the world at times, I sure as hell can’t.

Sometimes, it’s nice to let go of things, isn’t it?


2 responses to “1st Phase Reflections: Why I am Not Mother Theresa

  1. Thank you for sharing. This is just what I needed to hear. Lately being a bit overwhelmed at all the evil in the world is just how I’ve been feeling. It’s nice to know Mother Theresa felt the same way sometimes and that, yes, it doesn’t depend all on me.

    • I think your idea for this link up is just really cool. I’m just glad to be a part of it!
      It feels so freeing sometimes to be reminded “Hey! You don’t have to have it all figured out and you aren’t supposed to be superwoman!” We try so hard sometimes when we just need to be.

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